Resolutions Shmezalutions

So the holidays have passed and everyone did their toast to 2012.  Now comes the time when everyone wants to know what it is that you plan to change about yourself in the new year.  Here's the rub - I don't make resolutions.  You could blame my very short attention span, which takes the heat for most random things in my life.  I know that within a week I'll actually get bored with whatever I planned to do and end up back where I started.  You could say that I don't like to be a quitter - which is why I don't give things up for Lent either (my apologies to all those who contributed to my Catholic education).  The truth is, I find comfort in familiarity.  It's the reason I've stayed in apartments, situations, jobs and relationships WAY too long - much longer than I should have.  I find change to be awkward and potentially terrifying.

It's an irony in my life.  Some of the most beautiful moments I've ever experienced have come out of situations where I just said the heck with it and went for it.  When I let go of fear and jumped in without stopping to think about what could potentially go wrong.  When I ignored the Plan B/Plan C that I tend to make for everything.  I've met amazing people, done incredible things, felt freer than ever before.  I know all of this, but yet I still crave the comfort of being around the same people, places and things that I know so well.

These past few years, however, I've been on a bit of a personal path.  Losing people that I loved dearly and finally getting out of a failed relationship (which popped up repeatedly) has forced me to look a little deeper at myself to make sure I'm not missing out on any more beautiful moments.  I don't want to wake up tomorrow morning and realize that my desire for comfort (which, if we're being honest, is just fear of being hurt dressed up in a pretty outfit) kept me from experiencing life to its fullest.  I don't want to stay around the same people, places and things and miss the opportunity to grow, especially if those same things are taking energy rather than giving it.

So this year, while I'm still not planning on making resolutions (no new gym goals for this one), I am going to offer myself a challenge - to step outside my comfort zone and finally release old habits.  To take on new hobbies, meet new people, grow in my life and experience all of the ups, downs and around in circles I can possibly experience.  Life is too short to surround yourself with people and situations that bring you down.  One week in I think I'm already on the right path - but we'll see how long my attention span holds up.

Happy 2012 to all of you, and may this year be filled with opportunities for growth and beautiful moments.