I'd like to think I'm a strong, independent woman. I have a Master's degree, have lived on my own since the age of 19, pay my own bills, and have one hell of a nice wardrobe. I have friends (but most of them are married), I go out to restaurants and happy hours, I've joined a rec league for sports and I've gone to movies by myself when no one else was available.
I'm comfortable with me. I LIKE me. Well, at least most of the time.
I'm usually just trucking along, liking my life, cooking my own dinner when some random event comes and slaps me in the face. And then, like most people (or so I would like to believe), the little voice inside my head starts with the trash-talking.
Most recently? Both of my best friends are pregnant.
I haven't gone out on a date in months. In fairness (or to make myself feel a little less like a loser - stupid voice in my head), I've been working like crazy and preparing for a licensing exam that could shoot my career to a whole new level. At least that's what I'm telling myself.
I have friends who date. A lot. And friends who think I need to date. A lot.
Again, I'm comfortable with me. I like me. But sometimes......
You can only hear so many people talking about how you should be married, or having guys you used to know tell you they're surprised you're single (because there's no way you have a hard time finding a man), or people telling you that 32 only gives you a few more years to start a family before you really start to question whether your life is going well.
So okay, I faltered. Yes, I did it. I bought a book. It's called "The Mojo Makeover." Because, apparently, there is something wrong with me. I'm 31 and single for crying out loud. What's wrong with me???
AHHH! I'm single. I can't get a man. I haven't dated in forever, and the last date I went on was with a man I've dated before. When AM I going to get married? Why CAN'T I get married? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Sorry, the little voice in my head came screaming out.
It took a few days (okay weeks) to open the book, but when I did I was pleasantly surprised. This was not a, "You're a loser who can't get a man" book. And this writer doesn't tell me that I need to have a man to be great. This is about the great me, being better. I'm not sure, but I think it's better than the bazillion people who think they should be commenting on my life. Weird to think a total stranger writes in such a way that I don't feel like a moron without a husbad.....
This book may be the silencer of the little voice in my head. At least until the next time someone asks, "When are YOU getting married?"
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Yes, I'm single.
I'm going to be 32 this year. And yes, I'm single.
And before you even go there - no, I'm not a lesbian.
Apparently you get to a point in your life where people believe that after a certain age, with no man in sight, with no prospects of marriage on the horizon, well then, there must be something wrong with you. Case in point: I was at work one day talking with co-workers about visiting some particular So-Cal place. I used the word "We"....and that's where it started. Below is the conversation that ensued....
Co-Worker (who by the way is a lot older): "Oh, so you and your husband?"
Me: "No, I'm not married."
Co-Worker: "Oh......" dramatic pause here, and it really did happen. "Your.......partner?"
Really? REALLY? So at 31, if I'm not married with children, if people like me and think I'm a good catch, then I MUST be a lesbian?
Here's another conversation that happened recently (please keep in mind here that I'm single):
Other person: "So when are you getting married?"
Me: "Somewhere between now and never."
Other person: "You really need to get married soon Jen, because you would make SUCH a great mom."
Me: "Thanks?" (In my head I was thinking - maybe, but last time I checked I didn't need to get married for that)
So this is the blog of my life as an almost 32-year old single female and all of the wonderfully fun and exciting moments that pop up as my friends tell me they're getting married or having babies or settling down or what not and question what's actually wrong with me in the process.
More dramatic stories to come.
And before you even go there - no, I'm not a lesbian.
Apparently you get to a point in your life where people believe that after a certain age, with no man in sight, with no prospects of marriage on the horizon, well then, there must be something wrong with you. Case in point: I was at work one day talking with co-workers about visiting some particular So-Cal place. I used the word "We"....and that's where it started. Below is the conversation that ensued....
Co-Worker (who by the way is a lot older): "Oh, so you and your husband?"
Me: "No, I'm not married."
Co-Worker: "Oh......" dramatic pause here, and it really did happen. "Your.......partner?"
Really? REALLY? So at 31, if I'm not married with children, if people like me and think I'm a good catch, then I MUST be a lesbian?
Here's another conversation that happened recently (please keep in mind here that I'm single):
Other person: "So when are you getting married?"
Me: "Somewhere between now and never."
Other person: "You really need to get married soon Jen, because you would make SUCH a great mom."
Me: "Thanks?" (In my head I was thinking - maybe, but last time I checked I didn't need to get married for that)
So this is the blog of my life as an almost 32-year old single female and all of the wonderfully fun and exciting moments that pop up as my friends tell me they're getting married or having babies or settling down or what not and question what's actually wrong with me in the process.
More dramatic stories to come.
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