Sometimes You Just Have to Walk Away

So we've established that I'm single again - I think I may have actually been single-ISH before being single. Confusing, I know, but what else would you expect from me?

I've come to the conclusion that I'm slightly too easy-going in my relationships. I put up with a lot. A lot more than most of my friends think I should (just ask them). And I'm WAY too forgiving and understanding. This past weekend I realized, through a series of events (that we won't talk about in this particular blog session - none of you has that much available time for reading), that sometimes you just have to walk away. (Read: really single this time)

I've put myself out there a number of times in my life, opened my heart and let people in. Sometimes these people hold it gently and treasure it, sometimes they trample on it, and sometimes they really don't care whether or not they have access to it. It seems, however, that I have a knack for finding that third type - those who are apparently oblivious and couldn't give a rat's behind that I've taken down that wall - or the amount of strength and courage it took to do it.

The problem is, because I've opened my heart, I spend my time and energy trying to get these people to see that, to acknowledge it, to respond somehow. And, inevitably, I always end up hurt. I hang on for just a little too long instead of paying attention to the flashing neon signs and usually end up thinking, "what the bleep is wrong with me?? I'm so needy". Sigh.

Anywho, I finally paid attention to a couple of those signs. (Yay me) And realized in the process that sometimes these people will remain oblivious to what they have and, despite whatever positives there may be, you just have to skedaddle. This is me skedaddling.

I'm not saying that they weren't worth every second - I wouldn't change a single thing about any of the experiences or relationships that I've had. Each one has changed my world. So, to paraphrase one of my all-time favorite songs -

He was my best friend
And it broke my heart
But I don't regret the day that he became
One of those I've loved along the way

I wouldn't be the (wo)man I am today
If not for those I've loved along the way

May today you all find those who treasure your love...